Cats are wonderful, adoring animals that make amazing pets. Since I was young there has always been at least one around. All the travels I’ve made in life have included a cat being dragged around with me. First it was family cats: Chanton (Bah), Chewy, Simon, NoiseN, Spot, Cloudy, Al and Hoax. Some of these have since passed, some are still alive and kicking (and scratching, and biting)! Since I’ve lived with cats for a while, I figured I’d share some of their eccentricities that I’ve learned to live with whether I like them or not.
They are vindictive.
2. Attacking your feet is always an option.
Especially if you’re in bed and dozing off.
3. They will sneeze on you.
Mostly this will happen when you have your mouth open, and the sneeze was likely without warning.
4. Throwing up is solely for the carpets.
No matter how hard you try to make them aim for anything but the carpet, they inevitably always retch on one of the toughest surfaces to clean up afterward.
5. When you go to clean the litter pan, they choose just then to go to the bathroom.
6. After you’ve cleaned it they have to dig through the new litter without actually going to the bathroom.
Usually a good portion of that new litter ends up outside the box.
7. If you’re not early to feed them, you’re late.
Even if you’re actually right on time. They are, of course, starving to death by this point and let you and everyone in a five mile radius know that you are making them suffer.
8. If they have suffered an indignity of any sort, you will have to watch your back.
This type of suffrage is usually paid back to you, the owner, in full within the week.
9. Diving in front of you as you walk.
Typically as you are carrying something or attempting to walk up or down the stairs. They are trying to kill you.
10. Leaving you dead things.
Whether this is on the front stoop or on the hood of your car (like my cat, Cloudy liked to do), this is gross when there’s blood and guts all over the place and you’re on your way to a job interview.
11. Tripping you in the dark.
Midnight snack? Bathroom trip? Doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t have gotten out of bed, human!
12. Refusal to choose which side of the door they want to be on.
Seriously, they’re always on the wrong side of the door.
13. Intentionally snub you in front of your friends.
You finally managed to teach your cat a trick and then you can’t even get the little asshole to come to you when you want to show off!
14. They sleep all day and party all night.
You wish you had their lifestyle.
15. Curling up on your work: keyboard, paper, books…
You should only be paying attention to cat. Nothing else matter. Only cat.
16. You’re petting, you’re petting, you’re petting; BAM, cat butt in your face!
What, you don’t like it? Too bad, more cat butt.
17. Sitting in all of the boxes.
Every box. But this is especially true about boxes that held toys for the cat.
This is a daily occurrence here; Hoax has his preference for anything paper oriented.
Those are some of the things my cats have done/still do. What strange, weird, or silly things do your cats do? Comment below and leave me your cat stories!